How Did I Get Here?

So I guess this means I've got a blog. I wasn't setting out to have a blog. I was just avoiding the mountains of paperwork that I routinely avoid by goofing around on the computer and then wandering around the house randomly tidying things (different from decluttering--much to the Mr.'s chagrin). But I've been reading some inspiring blogs from on-line friends (hey, I've met some of them IRL so I think the friend title applies) and I got to thinking it would be a nice way to make some form and sense of my days. Baby Z is taking a long nap--so why the heck not try it out?

I have been thinking of that Talking Heads song a lot lately "This is not my beautiful house/This is not my beautiful wife" etc. Where we live feels a lot like Stepford sometimes and I do ponder--between bottles and diapers and time outs--how I ended up with exactly this life. I'm not sure it's the one I set out to have. Actually, I'm very sure in many ways it's not. How happy would I be in the life I thought I wanted? Can we end up somewhere we think we had no intention of getting to--yet the steps we took along the way have added up to this?

And since my days are organized, it seems, by sleep--who sleeps, when, where, for how long, how early or how late--I need to go. The end of the nap calls. Welcome to my world.