X-Man 5

No, I don't have the scoop on the latest Wolverine feature--my little boy, my first baby is turning 5 today. I can't even believe that I'm writing that. I remember the first time I held him--all 3 1/2 pounds of him--like it was yesterday.

So here's my ode to my oldest child.

* You have the best laugh ever--somewhere between a snicker and a giggle, with some other nuances thrown in. Your shoulders hunch up and that crazy sound comes out and it always makes me smile.

* I love that when I take you to the candy store you are completely thrilled to pick out one tootsie roll. That when we go to Talbot's Toyland, you never complain about leaving empty-handed. That instead of asking us to buy you that super cool fire fighter helmet with the flashing light, you simply say "I'll save up my allowance for it."

* The way your mind works constantly amazes me. On the way to school yesterday you did your customary shut-down (due to your "no talking at school" policy) and said to me "Mom, my answer machine is broken." I replied "well, you still may need to ask some questions." Your rejoinder? "nope, that's broken too--there's a tube connecting the answer part and the question part so when one's not working the other doesn't too."

* And my all-time favorite, "Mom, Mr. Penis wants to do everything what I do, but he can't because he doesn't have opposible thumbs."

* I love that when I ask what your favorite food is you answer "tofu." And as weird as it is to have a kid who doesn't eat Peeps at Easter, I respect your position on not eating anything shaped like an animal. And your request that we not anthropomorphize your food (I'm talking about you, Mr. Hot Dog), because then you can't cook or eat it either.

* Did I mention your big, melty brown eyes? The twinkle in them? That spark of mischief that's been there from day one?

* And the maddening qualities, of course. Your insane stubbornness? Honestly, is there another child as strong-willed as you? I truly doubt it. And there's the really advanced level of selective hearing you have--or maybe it's not so selective. You told me the other day "Mom, I can't hear you when I'm busy thinking." At any rate, it's a quality you share with your father and it drives me crazy in both of you.

* Nothing pleases you more than "work" of some kind--whether it's shepherding a younger child through a new activity, hounding your baby sister while she careens through the world, or making one of your wild systems of tubes, wire and cat scratching posts. It's like watching a border collie on steroids.

* I love how you shake your little tushy to a really good riff of music.

* You seem to get the essence of people right away--not in so many words, but in your interactions I can see your assessment happening. And there's a special twinkle you reserve for especially funny women.

* Five years is a big chunk of change, and a whole lot of growth and transformation has happened in that time. But there's the essence of you that was there from day one--a tenacity I saw when you took out your breathing tube at ten days old. A combination of doggedness and caution that governed the way you approached a big milestone like walking. A sweet snuggliness that still pops up at bedtime. I love you, little man, and I'm blessed to be your mom.

Brand Me

Perusing this month's Domino I saw an article about these gals and was instantly intrigued with the idea of what they do. In a nutshell, they interview you for one hour and then they give you your own brand concept. It's a two word tag in an 80/20 format--meaning you are 80% the first word/concept and 20% the second one. Examples: Creative Natural, Classic Genuine.

All of this of course leads to the big question--what's my brand? Am I Passionate Kooky? Chic Comfort? Suburban Lassitude?

I am so incredibly tempted to try them out. With a house to decorate and a major birthday milestone to face down, I think this could be an incredible help. Anyone want to try their hand at it and save me $500?

Boys Will Be Boys

This is the kind of stuff you're supposed to photograph and put away to trot out on prom night to your child's utter mortification. I don't have photographic evidence yet, but the X-Man is going through a heavy princess phase. It's priceless.

We've watched some of the old school princess movies. I confess I love all of it and welcome an excuse to visit the weirdly violent and distorted world of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Fairy tales are just so macabre and bizarre--even the cleaned up Disney versions (although Angela Carter is more fun). And I can see why a kid--any kid, boy or girl--would be more drawn to the princesses. Despite all the cultural critique against Disney and the princess market, any princess in any story is more compelling and interesting than the prince. I don't care who saves whom with a kiss--does anyone remember the name of the prince in Snow White? But I digress.

So ages ago I snapped up a few well-worn princess dresses from a thrift store. They are pretty tatty but X has been donning them every day for the past week to get his princess jones on. I felt sorry for him squeezing into the too-small, faux-Cinderfella gear. So yesterday at the consignment store I found a really nice, fully Disney-branded Snow White ensemble (with detachable collar and cape) for him. I have to say, it's gorgeous. I would wear it--if it were in my size and I had dark hair. Yes, I am living vicariously.

So last night he put on a "princess show" for the whole family. It doesn't consist of much yet, although he's working in a bit with a poison comb and poison apple and his fainting is getting quite impressive. He clomps around on the purple plastic heels ("it's kind of hard but I can manage") and tap dances a bit, then faints. Mr. sat smiling at X and rolling his eyes at me muttering, "must you encourage this?" under his breath.

Tonight we were all piled in the car heading home from the new taqueria (La Corneta--very good by the way) and X in the back seat says "I'm going to paint my nails with a pen. They'll look so pretty" and then began humming "dum, de dum, dum dum." If he broke into something from West Side Story the whole scene would have been complete.

Here's the thing I keep trying to get across to the Mr.--wearing princess clothes when you're almost five doesn't mean you're gay. It might--it could be that X will grow up and fly the rainbow flag. Or he could grow up to be an executive transvestite. But most likely he'll grow up to be a kid who used to wear princess dresses when he was little. My big brother dressed up in my sister's patent leather shoes and hula skirt and cried when our mom had his curls cut off. At the heart of the whole thing is that I don't give a damn, and I don't think the Mr. should either. Yeah, yeah, I'm imposing my perspective on the Mr., but in this case I'm right. Gay, straight, purple, spotted--it doesn't matter to me as long as my kids are happy. What does matter? Can the X-Man go off to college and do his own laundry? Do his culinary skills extend beyond the microwave? Is he a gracious winner and a graceful loser? Can he do the fox trot? Make someone laugh? What he's wearing when he does all that? I don't give a flying fig.

House

Here's the latest:

* Paint colors--for those who asked, I'll try and get down the actual names/numbers in case you want to check them out. I'm going by memory right now. The pale blue for the master bedroom and Miss Z's room is Constellation (AF-450 I think). It's the dreamiest, most relaxing hue I think I've ever seen. Walking into it I feel like I've just done an hour of yoga.

The chocolate brown in the dining room is also an AF color (all of these are Benjamin Moore--the AF designation means the color is from their new Affinity line which they used to launch their Aura paint--the low-VOS/low-odor stuff that's better for you). Anyway, I don't have the number but the name is Kona.

I got the color for my basement studio nailed down--also AF it's called Fondant, a really nice pale pink (I enjoy being a girl). And the guest room will be Peau de Soie (AF).

I'm working on the kitchen color right now--the original idea of a brightish yellow isn't sitting right, so I'm thinking something more along the lines of a cream w/ some yellow hint to it. Lychee might work.

* Tile is still going in. Basement bathroom is done, the kids bathroom is getting there. Tomorrow I'm going to select the stone for the Mr.'s boom boom room counter tops and for the counter in the wine/cat room. Also needing to be determined asap is the surround for both fireplaces.

* Landscaping should start soon. How is it in my family--my mom is a master organic gardener and my brother an acclaimed landscape architect--I didn't get a green thumb? I have no clue as to what I'm doing in that area and the Mr. has even less. But we need to get an opinion soon.

* Cabinets are going in, and the shelving, desks, wainscoting. There's a lot of all that stuff.

* The Mr. is not convinced that we'll be ready to move in June. I am cheerfully not hyperventilating about it.